#changes

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All my life I accepted what destiny throws out at me. It was like driving a car using a pre-planned route. I didn’t like where I was going. But, I kept at it. Wishing good things come my way. All of a sudden, like a lightbulb going off in my head, I decided to make a sudden turn and I have never regretted my decision.

Wishing is a passive thing. We wish. But nothing ever happens. When our wishes don’t come true. We accept it as fate. Like how everyone wishes the new year brings them some good fortune. There’s nothing more passive than that!

This year, rather than wishing 2014 will be good to me. I decided to make 2014 good to me. I made some remarkable changes. Firstly, I had to detox a lot from my life. Friends that were like family. Everyone wants friends. But sometimes even if they mean well, they can be the very reason why you are not that person you really want to be. I had to give up some really good friends and family.

I decided to make my dreams come true. Everything I always wanted to do since childhood. The ideal Sabreena that lived in my head. I wanted to be her. Rather than dreaming about it. I decided to make her.

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Sometimes, you have to do things so out of your way to be the ideal person you always wanted to be. This year I took up martial arts for the first time. I always thought I could never do it. I wasn’t athletic. I’m a dancer after all. But I did it. I took up an ancient old fighting system called Kalari Payattu. It is a tough martial art. I had to face so many fears week after week. Push my body to such extremes. I did things I never thought I could do. Especially after having a permanent knee injury. But life is interesting. Sometimes, when you open doors you meet people. My master is a very disciplined man. I look up to him a lot. Week after week I learn something new about life. I’m in a phase of life where I am chasing after my dreams. There is no place for fear. And, that is what exactly he is teaching me. I am the only girl in class. Sometimes, I ask myself why I put myself in such uncomfortable situations. Then, it dawned on to me…I am different. I always have been. And, always will be. But that’s what makes me unique. Despite being the only girl in class. I get lots of encouragement. Sometimes, even special treatment. The masters take good care of me.

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I decided to take this martial art because I was drawn to the stick. A weapon used in this artform. It reminded me of the cane in belly dance. If you trace history, it was supposedly a war dance. I wanted to learn to spin the stick in unique ways. I am no where near that standard. But I wish to be.

My body has become more flexible and muscular. I am much stronger than I thought. Weakness is only in the mind. Once you overcome that, you can be anything. This indirectly helps me chase my dreams. To remove fear and go get what I want.

I also took up Kathak. It is a dance from North India. I decided to take it to improve my flow in bellydance. I always felt I wasn’t graceful. After 8 years I realized why I wasn’t growing as a dancer. My vocabulary in dance was limited to bellydance. I needed to know more to be a good dancer.  My Kathak teacher is my biggest inspiration. Everything about her is so philosophical. She teaches me to be strong, to let go and not be afraid to fail. Something I find so difficult to come to terms with. I would always say sorry when I screw up. And she would say never be sorry. You are only learning. Be patient with yourself.

With such strong mentors by my side. I stopped being so afraid. I decided to march ahead.

Even though life is about achieving your dreams. We need to learn to laugh on the way. Life doesn’t need to be a battle. It can be fun. Even though i spend hours on my animation. I keep my saturdays and wednesdays work free. I go and try something every week. It makes me feel fresher, happier and rejuvenated. Sometimes, I kayak, swim or cycle. Anything. As long as I can forget work and embrace my inner child. Because it’s she who keeps my imagination alive.

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I told myself in 2014, I am going to make changes. And, when you make changes, you open doors, meet new people. Our life is a pattern. The universe throws at you what you reflect to it. Look around you. Your friends and lovers are a reflection of you. If you don’t like that reflection, break it. But just as much as you destroy, you need to create. You create new doors for people to walk in. Every month i decided to take up something new. I am looking forward to learning swimming and archery. Probably take sailing lessons. But every month, something new happens.

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Every year, I am going to travel. At least to two places. The world is big. There is lots to experience. Many people live their whole lives in crammed offices. I don’t want that. As much as I want to achieve great things, I also want to enjoy every minute of my life. I love my work. But what keeps my work flowing is me being happy.

I have learned to say no. Set boundaries. Cancel bad dates. When life throws lemons at you. Don’t make lemonade. Throw it back at life and ask for a new menu. Because the universe is testing you. Interestingly, when you give up a friend or a lover. Life sends you a similar lemon. Not because it wants lemonade. But to test you to see if you have learned your lesson.

Wishing all of you well. 🙂

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