I am a big fan of Renee’s articles on the Feminine Woman. I came across an article about people pleasing. Do check out the link below
This is what I have been practicing for the past month. The art of saying, “I don’t think so.” I did the little exercise on that article and had to do a little self reflection. All our lives we have been drilled to believe that if we don’t please someone, we might end up losing them. So we learn to be the “Yes” man or woman. But interestingly, each time we go out of the way to please someone. We end up with the opposite result. By pleasing them, we are hoping they would return us the favor or stay with us. Interestingly, neither happens. Take a moment to remember a decision you made where you had to go out of the way for someone. Especially, at your expense. How did you feel? Did the person last?
Now, remember the times you said No to something you didn’t want? How did you feel? Did you lose the person?
Interestingly, we feel more empowered. Stronger. In control. Worshipping our inner bitch is important. At the end of the day, when you please yourself – you save money, time and a potential headache.
Every decision we make, we must reflect if we are pleasing someone or we are doing it out of our own accord. If a friend, calls you out to go for a movie. Are you going to please your friend out of fear of losing her? Or are you going because you want to watch the movie as well? If your reason is the first, you are probably going to lose the person any way. If you learn to serve yourself, you can serve others. If not you end up being an empty bottle. Nothing can fill that void. Nobody wants to be around a void.
Personally, I feel every child should learn the word No before they can even say Mama.