An interesting dream intepretation

Last night, I dreamt of my mother’s home in Kerala. I saw my Aunt in the kitchen making some delicacies. I went in to assist her. Interestingly, this dream was a reminiscence of something that happened in the past. I was a child and I wanted to learn how to make Palada (a kerala dish). I remembered her teaching me patiently. I felt closer to her. Because my own mother didn’t have that patience. She held my hand and taught me to spread the batter slowly. I remembered feeling immense gratitude towards her.

In this dream, My aunt was doing the same. I thought I was doing a good job. Suddenly, she slaps my hand. I feel hurt because she has never hit me before. I feel incapable. Then, she brings me to the window. She shows me a high rise building. The building was numbered 740 much like the homes in Singapore. She tells me there is a library on the 20th floor. I wonder to myself why she is telling me this. She tells me I can go read anytime I want.

I didn’t take this dream seriously. Until, a thought struck me. All my life, I had been self taught. I never had a mentor or anyone to teach me. I always wanted a mentor. Someone to guide me. But, I always find myself learning on my own. Having to pave the way on my own. This dream reflects that. I am going through a pivotal point in my life. Trying to gain independence and stand on my own two feet. Subconsciously, I would love to have a guide. Therefore, I saw her in my dream. My desire to have a mentor. The mentor slaps me and points a library to me. A library is a symbol of knowledge. A place where you can help yourself. My subconsciously is telling me not to be lazy and wish for the cosmos to help me. But to go find my way myself. Because I am best when I’m self taught. Just like the way, I taught myself to sing and dance. The library is up 20 floors. It isn’t that easy to get up there. However, in the dream I felt there will be an elevator in the building. So I have nothing to worry about. As long as I have the will to learn, everything will fall in its place.


7 thoughts on “An interesting dream intepretation

  1. I’m made to be self taught too. I always felt unhappy at school, because we were always told what to learn, when and how. I’m far much happier now. I can really think by myself since i’m far from school and family.

    In my early 20’s, i met a woman in the subway. We talked a little, she told me she was a jazz musician, i told her about my ambitions in life, and at the moment to leave she gave me a precious message, a message that i still keep written in me : “Follow what you have in your heart”.

  2. I love the this post and the reply. Dreams are such a great source of material for us. Sometimes it’s our subconscious firing away and expressing how we REALLY feel but have to suppress, and sometimes they give us messages and guidance (and sometimes, they are just plain crazy!) I love your dream as it resounds in me and is a reminder and a hope. But I’d like to add alittle more to your interpretation:

    You are very aware of the feelings of the child in the dream. This is our inner child, always wanting that tender attention and approval. You loved the way your aunt made you feel and you were aware of how your mother made you feel. But then there was a shift, where there was almost an “emotional betrayal,” for lack of a better term. Not saying this is how your aunt treated you but perhaps people close to you have not wanted to give you the help and care you needed and deserved and was told to figure it out or do it yourself. For me it was exactly like that and sometimes, if I felt that someone didn’t really want to help or have patience with me, I’d tell them forget it and I’d do it myself.

    Now, about the library – representing a wealth of knowledge. isn’t it interesting that though many of us go to libraries or seek out reference materials online by ourselves, we aren’t really alone because there are many people looking up and for the same thing we are. We are doing this alone but the Library is also a Public Place, so we really are not alone, though we feel like it.

    I’ve grown up on my own because my family pretty much invented the term “dysfunctional.” I am extremely resourceful, a problem solver to the mark and am self taught as well. I consult every resource I can find, any health resource (I’ve owned heavy duty medical books without without the desire to be a doctor. I just wanted to heal myself and stay healthy!) I grew up hearing people say, “Oh, no need to worry about her. I’m not worried about her. She takes care of herself.” That made me so angry because I always wanted someone to “worry” about me or be concerned. I wanted someone to give a damn! I wanted a guide, a mentor, someone to take interest in me and hold my hand through the journey. I’m not a cripple, no need to carry me. I just wanted someone to care enough to help me. I can help myself but it just makes like alittle better to have those who care. Romantic relationships and friendships are the same. People come to me when they need something because I am resourceful and smart. People don’t give me the time of day otherwise.

    I do best when I do it myself too, mostly because who claim to care disappointment me or mock me if I branch out and do something new. I enjoy being a self survivor but emotionally I hate it and the little girl in me wants someone I can count on. I would go one step further in your dream to say, that because you see the library, true it means to self teach but it may also me you are not alone and may bring comfort and hope in knowing that there are people who right with you, and perhaps be the role model or mentor you may need. we are not designed to be alone or we would have been born into family and live into communities. We would instinctively branch off on our own and it wouldn’t hurt because that would be our nature. But it does hurt to be alone because it IS our nature to be with and help and get help from others. Those we need on our journey are here. I tell myself I am not alone. I just have to be in the right place and time to find them or they seek me out. Until then, though it hurts, I continue on but I’m always open to receive the word I need to hear in due season or the friendship for the moment. It is so important to be true to yourself and follow your heart and gut.

    My goodness! Why in the world would you consider it lazy to want some help? No, it is not lazy at all. Please do not think that. You are a beautiful, strong and very talented woman who has a wonderful gift to write reflections, you teach, sing and dance. You have a caring heart. I don’t believe your subconscious it tell you not to be lazy. Maybe it is tell you that you are not alone. The Library has many resources and is open to all people. We are smart enough to seek it’s help. Maybe we need to go a step further and allow others who share our vision to join also. I say we because again, this dream of yours speaks to me in many ways also.

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m sorry I talk too much! πŸ™‚

    Enjoy your day!


    • I find something very similar between us. I always have a tendency never to seek help or even show how wounded I am to someone I love. But deep inside, I crave someone would care enough. But I have given up to voice it. My family background is similar to yours. I was self taught all the way. I would never ask my parents for anything because they were busy with their own issues. But I would always wish they would care enough to even ask how my day at school went. But somehow these problems made me stronger. I became fiercely independent that even when a man treats me to dinner, i would feel a burning sensation deep inside my heart. Like I would love to melt into the floor and die. But I am trying to change that. To learn how to receive. I am so used to giving that I don’t know how to receive anything gracefully. But you’re right. We aren’t alone. I take that as comfort πŸ™‚

      • Hi Sabreena! πŸ™‚

        Thank you so much for allowing me to share my thoughts about your dream here on your blog. I, too, agree that would be wonderful to share dreams and get the full meaning of them together. I’ve been interpreting my dreams since I was a young girl. People thought I had a “vivid” imagination and laughed it off. That’s when I stopped talking about them to others and kept them close to me unless there was a dream that really freaked me out about another person and I felt I should tell them. As a child I took them as strange but interesting movies in my head when I slept. When I got older I learned more about dreams and their meanings, plus I just really listened to my heart to get the meaning or sat quietly and dissected them if need be.

        Yes, YES, we do run along the same vein in those feelings of wanting that deep care and concern. I used to think I was just needy but I realized it was not that, it’s just a human response. I was around people that were incapable for whatever reason to give that. I had very normal human need. I too, just like you, grew up fiercely independent. I grew up in a single parent home and I was taught to be a strong, independent black woman and to be better than anyone. Always be a step ahead of the game. My mother would teach “Don’t trust anyone. Anything a man can do, do it better! Don’t act womanly, that’s a sign of weakness, it’s sinful and evil! In fact, you must be cut throat, and living strong in independence, and doing everything yourself. Anything less and you are weak! You don’t need mother, father, siblings or a man. Read your bible only and always. I’m not gonna worry about you because you have a brain. You need to fall, get up, make mistakes and move one. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”

        I don’t believe completely that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It can, I suppose, in some ways but for me, it’s like a song I heard: “What does kill you, is gonna leave a scar.” That is what I realized happened in my life. I realized my mother was talking like that because she was hurting and bitter and going through her issues. She told me for years that my father was dead but he was alive and I found him just in time. After we met, he died 2 yrs later. Ok, when a parent tells you your other parent is dead but they are not, that ain’t good! lol. My siblings, well, that’s a novel in itself – lol! But the point is I had no one but me to rely on. But I missed out on so much, how to youthful, how to play, etc and through dreams and personal growth (and still growing) I learned so much about me and how to grow into my own self. I never knew how to be woman, my mother didn’t teach me. And all the things I wanted in family relationships (to have a bond with my mother, to be Daddy’s little girl, to have older siblings to be protective of me and to have a younger sibling so I can protect and guide, to have a friendship with all of my family) I never got. I became so hurt and bitter. I was on my own all the time and watch my mother and half siblings just turn into roommates. We all lived together under one roof but never lived in each other’s lives. I knew there had to be something more. My dreams and independent research have helped me tremendously to grow into the woman I am now. I wanted a mentor and needed one. Though I had 3 teachers in grade school that took to watching me for as long as they could (they were able to sense my home life was not optimum living) I needed nurturing for years to come.

        I feel the most liberating thing I learned from my dreams and research (apart from some warnings I get from my dreams) is learning how to be a woman and learning what makes me tick. What I truly like and dislike. Learning new things because I want to and not because I need to learn something because someone needs my help. It’s amazing and wonderful and EXCITING but on the flip coin I still see (through my dreams) that hurts and scars I must be mindful of because they are there and I am learning how to not stuff them so deep that they cannot come out healthily. It’s part of the process. Be independent and enjoy individuality but remembering that we all need each other the go through this journey together. Makes life more fun sometimes. πŸ™‚

        You mentioned receiving – Oh that is HARD for me also. It is a mental struggle to allow anyone to help me due to
        distrust, wondering if it is real or what do they REALLY want. I want to fly away at that moment or disappear under a cloak or something – lol. Receiving meant there were conditions – that’s what I grew up learning. To receive without conditions? Wow – what a concept! It’s hard to think that someone would be kind for no reason.
        But it does happens. That’s good news.

        So, I love dreams – it’s how we grow! And I also believe if you felt in your heart to share this dream, it was meant for me and for many others to read and grow from. And THAT, is pretty cool! I receive it with joy in having more insight!

        Hugs! Enjoy your day!

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