Last night, I dreamt of my mother’s home in Kerala. I saw my Aunt in the kitchen making some delicacies. I went in to assist her. Interestingly, this dream was a reminiscence of something that happened in the past. I was a child and I wanted to learn how to make Palada (a kerala dish). I remembered her teaching me patiently. I felt closer to her. Because my own mother didn’t have that patience. She held my hand and taught me to spread the batter slowly. I remembered feeling immense gratitude towards her.
In this dream, My aunt was doing the same. I thought I was doing a good job. Suddenly, she slaps my hand. I feel hurt because she has never hit me before. I feel incapable. Then, she brings me to the window. She shows me a high rise building. The building was numbered 740 much like the homes in Singapore. She tells me there is a library on the 20th floor. I wonder to myself why she is telling me this. She tells me I can go read anytime I want.
I didn’t take this dream seriously. Until, a thought struck me. All my life, I had been self taught. I never had a mentor or anyone to teach me. I always wanted a mentor. Someone to guide me. But, I always find myself learning on my own. Having to pave the way on my own. This dream reflects that. I am going through a pivotal point in my life. Trying to gain independence and stand on my own two feet. Subconsciously, I would love to have a guide. Therefore, I saw her in my dream. My desire to have a mentor. The mentor slaps me and points a library to me. A library is a symbol of knowledge. A place where you can help yourself. My subconsciously is telling me not to be lazy and wish for the cosmos to help me. But to go find my way myself. Because I am best when I’m self taught. Just like the way, I taught myself to sing and dance. The library is up 20 floors. It isn’t that easy to get up there. However, in the dream I felt there will be an elevator in the building. So I have nothing to worry about. As long as I have the will to learn, everything will fall in its place.