I was just thinking to myself how we are so vulnerable to patterns. I had to take a break from dance because I felt I wasn’t going anywhere. Not that I don’t love my art. I was stuck. I had an interesting conversation with someone from Youtube today. His name is Ernie and he triggered a thought in me about patterns. I had to badly take that break because I was stuck…in a comfortable pattern where everything was just good. But I wasn’t getting better. I was afraid to do other things in dance because I desperately wanted to keep that pattern. It started becoming stale for me. After that break, I could clearly see what I was doing wrong in dance. Things that I was afraid about, didn’t seem so frightening anymore because I forgot that pattern. I could do more in dance now. I always thought to myself, I can’t do a flutter. But I can do now. And, I can comfortably do it during my routines.
During my break, I read several books. I came across this interesting book on Alchemy where it was mentioned that “Civilization must reach a corrupt state before it can be collapsed and reborn from the ashes. Corruption is not a bad thing if you look at the big picture. It is necessary for development.”
Whenever things go stale, I detach myself. Creativity dies when you put boundaries to it. You don’t see beyond those boundaries. The more you stay within those boundaries the more you move into the realm of conventionalism. That is not why I started dancing. I started dancing because to me its a revolution. Burst of creativity.
They say practice make perfect. I thought the same. I wasn’t getting anywhere. So I said “Fuck it” and did everything else other than dance. When I came back, I could see clearly. I could see what I should do. What I could do.
Fear is a killer.
Sometimes its good to drop everything when you are not getting anywhere. Come back when it feels better. Come back when you are more mature and unafraid. It makes everything feel new.
Like a phoenix, I have many deaths and rebirths. Sometimes its better to let that old pattern die. So you can let new ideas form. You must be brave enough to kill what you love in order to resurrect it. If not, you will never learn.
Wisdom – Renunciation – Wisdom
This is the pattern of my life…