I could not sleep. I ended up dancing the whole night. Then i realized the problem with my dancing. I realize i think while i dance, and i am not comfortable while i am doing it.
I have danced to indian music. Bollywood dancing comes pretty natural to any indian. And i never have to choreograph it. It comes pretty naturally. Then i realized the issue. With bellydance, i always think that i have to work on it. I think its not my territory because its not indian dance.
I always think that if i improvise too much, i might offend the artform in some way.
Tonight I let everything go, and let myself flow through my dance . I realized how good it looked. Almost seamless. Like i was born doing it.
I am huge fan of Michael Jackson, and i read in his book, that one must become the music, the drum, the cello every instrument – pretty much like a drum solo.
That’s what i did. I stopped focusing on technique and let the sensuality flow. Bellydance isnt all about technique, its about sensuality too. Not being too shy or critical of yourself, and taking over the stage. If you keep checking yourself, you are not present on stage!
So ive learnt a lesson today, and i am going to let myself flow through dance. After a long time i began to see more beauty in bellydance, the same beauty which made me fall in love with this artform. Therefore i shall not be afraid to dance, and let myself be me in bellydance!