The more i pursue my dreams, the more friction i seem to face. Being born an asian, let alone an indian can really be frustrating. I have decided to take dance to the next level, not only am i accepting private gigs, now i have started to dance in restuarants as well. I need a place to perform. Not money, not to give cheap entertainment. The more i perform, the better i will be. I love the crowd, the music and the control i have. Most importantly, i just want to perform.
My family is unhappy with the whole picture. And so are friends. Some atleast. I never dance in front of them or show them what i can do. Its no point. No one understands it. They will never appreciate it.
People view Bharathnatyam as an art – Bellydance thats stripping! Is it so? The steps passion and patience to learn are equal in both arts. And may i just add that bellydance is far more difficult. I have studied both before, so i can say. I need not credit anyone.
I put alot of effort in my practise, i work my butt off. And guess what, i have no mentor or tutor to motivate me. Everything i teach myself nowdays. I have graduated from one dance school, i want to learn from more dance schools, be better at it.
People are afraid of what exactly. I have one life, and i can tell you that i dont have very much to live. Why do we all have to put on masks, and live for society. The society didnt come and console me when my brother passed away. When i was depressed, society didnt come and make things be better. Dance did! Why should i turn my back on an artform that gave me life.
You can never get married if you have such a reputation? Screw it. I love god, and god loves me. I am not afraid to admit it. I dont smoke drink or sleep around. Ive never done that, and i hope i dont. I can tell u im alot better than many who are wrapped up, and pretending to be saints. If a person loves me for who i am, what i do, then i would get married. If not i will marry dance.
My sister says, you are dancing to the wrong crowd – she has no idea by the way. Well not everyone is a michael jackson, and get a stage in one instant. Even he did small gigs before being somebody. Everyone starts off somewhere small. I need practise performing, and i get it here. I love what i do, and thats all it matters.
They are many people who wanted to tear down this blog and youtube channel. Well now i say, over my dead body!
You know what? Stop living life for others. Screw the sacrficices you made for people. Dont come and say i gave up dance cos my boyfriend doesnt like it. You are born alone. You have a ticking bomb on your head that says, as each minutes passes, you are walking to your grave. You are dying. We are dying.
Instead of writing a bucket list at the age of 70, and trying to desperately fulfill it with very little strength on your body. Do it now. Do it when you are 23, 9 or even 12. Try fulfilling every small thing u wanna do before u die. Cos when you are 70, its too hard. I have my bucket list down. And i am working on it right now. I wanna die happy, not have regrets.
My brother died when he was 32. I might die even now. So let me fulfill my dreams, dance till i drop dead.
And society….a big fuck you to u!