Feelings UPDATE

This is Ahmet. Another one of those special people. I have very few special people in my life. I have mentioned a few here. My good friend Florian…Traviz ..shirin my beloved bro Anas ..and a few others. My brain isnt thinking. I am starting out with Ahmet. There are few things i wanna state to people. Ahmet has always respected my dancing. He is from a conservative culture. He is Muslim. Yet, he never discourages my dancing. Never looks at me in a wrong way. He is a good soul. And i love him for his good friendship. 

He had a knee operation. And i am praying for him. Those who read this blog, please pray for him as well.

Well, i wanna start off with a very uncomfortable situation. I love bellydancing. All my good friends know that. My family knows that. Everyone knows i dont dance to seduce anyone! But some asians, are under the impression that just because i dance i can be touched any way.

This goes to some people who had been very unkind towards me. My body is my property. I know you are being friendly. But,, please keep your hands to yourself. Whether you are younger or older, it doesnt matter. You are a guy, And i dont like it. I dance cos i love dancing. Not because i am some public property. I never do this in my blog. But i am very angry. I dont have the guts to tell you. So i am blogging. Those who are guilty of it, please understand me.

Its the culture. ASIA i guess does not respect a woman who love to dance? Just because a girl likes bellydance, does not mean you can behave any way you like. And especially indians. Some indians.  Some really bad group of indians.

I know you are friends. But there are certain ways to behave with them. I dont like telling people off. I am still quite handicapped. I cant believe this world is so backward in their thinking. I am upset. I always blog something useful. But now i am just ranting.

I can advise everyone to react immediately when they are being handled in a way they dont like. It sometimes make me want to take down all my videos and run into a small hole. I cannot dance without being respected. Because i am a woman. And indian at that?

Honestly, i am very hurt. I want to tell you badly that i dont like it. When i move away, i am trying to tell you not to continue. Yet, you keep doing it. I am angry.

My small world

My small world comprises of very few people. I dont have much friends. I dont have a big social circle like my elder sister. I love all my friends. And yes my brother. I am crying nowdays. I still miss him. I want him so badly. I want to tell him how i feel about this. He was like an umbrella to me, protecting me from stupid people. I am like alone now. Fending for myself. Its always nice to have an elder bro who looks out 4 u. Sometimes i dream i am running towards him. When bad things happen, i wish i die quickly so i can be with him. I dont want to marry. Cos i cant imagine a wedding without him. I remeber how i used to run to him when i was a kid. It felt so good to sit on his lap. Go bike rides with him. I dont dare go back to India. I am scared to face the reality. I love you so much bro

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8 thoughts on “Feelings UPDATE

  1. hey shanu, don t be upset by some of these ppl. Actually those who appreciate arts will not pass caustic remark. In fact through you, i am sure that a number of yr frenz understand better wat is bellydancing is about (including me as well). So don t care abt others. What matters is that u least bothered of others. Just execl in your bellydancing:)

  2. Thanks Lalita Akka 🙂 I really love your support. I had a bad dream about Zar…the same way i had about my bro…do u think its one of thse “prems” again? I am dreadfully worried. The pattern of this dream is like one of those “prems”. This dream came in between two normal dreams. The type that usually comes true. I am very frightened now.

  3. hey shanu, don t worry abt yr sister.. she wll be fine… If u still feel uncomfortable, why don t u give her a call? i didn t see zar for the past few days online… guess she is busy

  4. Hi sabreena yes it me again. I feel sorry for u that some people thk of u in such an offensive way and behave towards you as such. I don’t know if there is anything that I can do to help u or make u feel better but if you wd like to talk, drop me an e-mail or call me at 6319 9340. And in case you’re wondering, no, i’m not a professional counsellor but I wd really like to offer my listening ear to you. Take care and keep up with your moves!

    Best Regards

    Mohan

  5. Hi Mohan
    I am glad you are there to help me. I didnt quite know you were from Singapore? I guess its just the asian culture. N i must train myself to react better. I dont know why i cant. Most victims ive read about suffer from the same problem as i do. Its a very difficult situation

  6. Hey sabreena tell u what I had alr reserved two tickets to a classical guitar concert at NUS on this sat. But now my frnd can’t make it. If u like, why don’t we go to this concert together? It’ll be an enjoyable experience and it will take yr mind off your troubles for some time at least. Call me at 98239695 if u are interested or if u want to know more abt the concert. Take care and look forward to hear frm u!

    Best Regards

    Mohan

  7. hey sabreena i sometimes watch your homepage cause i really like it ,, i like your openess about things so i read this entry and my boyfriend is from afghanistan 😀 he knows im dancing but he told me if he ever sees me dancing then he would leave me and if i marry him i have to stop dancing cause its a shame ! and if my family knows u r dancing then its not good lbalbalbalba but i would never stop dancing just cause he told me too and just cause he doesnt like it ,, he thinks dancing woman r cheap woman but anyway he doesnt know what bellydancing is about

    love ariadne

  8. Dancing is for YOUR passion. Love is not being someone’s perfect mate, love is about sharing. Never gif up the things you like. A good partner will never control what you should like. You should explain to him what bellydancing is and how it helps women and even health. I started it for my terrible menstrual cramps. Now im much healthier. I hope you keep progessing. N ur a lovely dancer. Take care

    Sabreena

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