10 RULES IN INDIAN FILM MAKING

1.      Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine – see rule 2 below).

2.      If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.

3.      If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).

4.      Any court scene will have the dialogue “Objection milord”. If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.

5.      The hero’s sister will usually marry the hero’s best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

6.      In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.

7.      When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never 
a) miss 
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).

8.      Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.

9.      Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by 
a) the brothers 
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax) 
c) the family dog/cat.

10. Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero’s father – killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying “Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte”, only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector’s daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain’s sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax

Well i really found that interesting and very true in fact. Indian movies really run full of crap. That doesnt make hollywood any better. It runs with the crap too. But with more special effects 😉

Updates…

I am going to Kerala in God’s grace next semester’s holiday. I have to take care of my brother’s mother. If there is anyone that can restore the smile on their faces, i guess it can only be me. Its not easy. But that’s my duty.

I am contnuing my course in bellydancing. We are covering veils in the next section. Veil dancing is a very egyptian practise. Most egyptian dancers enter the stage with a veil. I have also been practising my spinning alot lately. I believe i can spin longer now without losing my balance. But i cant wait for the section of drum solos.

I am trying to experiment playing zills to a cat steven’s song. I know it sounds odd. But i realise adding zills makes it inetresting. And its Cat Steven’s song that makes me sleep nowdays. Playing zills help me forget the memories of my brother. I have also decided to collect all the footage i have of my brother. It sucks to know that i cant lean on a shoulder anymore. But what has happened has happned. It all happens 4 a reason. I cant argue with God. I can only make do with what i am left with. My goal is to fulfill all the desires anas had 4 his mother. And ive decided to forgive Anas’s brother as well for whatever he did in the past. I just hope this trip doesnt affect my bellydancing course.

Its very hard to be in my position. I was forced to grow up in an age when everyone else was enjoying. Now the only shooulder i could lean on is gone as well. But i have to keep making myself rise up. Thats all i have to say for now…

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