Signs of death..

I am writing with a very heavy heart as i look at my rabbit sundari across me, sitting in absolute silence looking into the distance. I hdnt had much of sleep since yesterday. The grooming had frightened her alot. She is suffering from sores on her hind legs and paws. Something which isnt suppose to be serious. But, today she hadnt eaten a single bite. She drank some tea in the morning. She didnt even eat a small slice of cake i had been trying to entice her with. I checked her jaws. It seems locked. I feel frightened cos all these arent good signs.

 She is already 7 years old. She was born in my old house with her twin brother panda. Her nature is rather timid and she does understand english and malayalam. She seems to look up to her older sister Xena, who is very much like her name. Unfortunaletly, Sundari can never be her. Xena was my favorite pet. She takes elevators down and has a hot temper like me. She loves tea and she loved me vry much.

I slept with sundari yesterday comforting her and telling her to eat. But she refused to. I brought her brother over to comfort her. She usually bites him or grunts when he comes near. Panda is the slowest learner in the family. In fact, xena and sundari boycotted him. They never really taught him the art of opening their own cage. Panda has weaker teeth than them. He later manageed to open it by himself. Pnada has other ways of getting things done. Example, being very loving to my father. Whereas Xena simply bit my father’s nose. She was more like the enemey of the state.

Sundari sat near her brother and kept each other warm. Panda licked her face and tidied her whiskers. It hurt me cos they were such cute pair. I am left with two options. Either to bring sundari over to the vet again and see why her jaws are locking. (Really they wld recommend liquid food) or just go straught to the vet and buy the food and try stuffing it to sundari’smouth. But i am scared she might not chew it like Xena couldnt on the last day of her life. I looked at her just now, she shifted her position and continues to wander in her own thoughts.

I am very used to this. I have never seen a real human die. But seeing all my kids leave me, i cant help but to cry. I hope this doesnt sound childish or anything. I might have gotten my motherly instincts from here. Its usually me cleaning and doing the dirty job. But i feel no pain in doing that cos i love these idiots so much. Right now, i feel really scraed that sundari might not be able to make it. I shall stand in prayer at nights and hope to God that she survives. Sundari did survive a terrible disease last year, i hope God helps me again this time.

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