Well lately. I have been having pressure from everywhere. Its a wonder why i hadnt lost my head? Today, i was so frustrated and i shimmied so long to see how long i can actually do that. Even though i think i dropped dead after that.
Those who still couldnt figure out a shimmy. This is it! I havent been having much luck with belly rolls. I can identify and push out my upper stomach muscle but i think my lower one has gone for some vacation. I am yet to locate it. Ever since, i did belly rolls i realise my movements in bellydance has become very flexible.
The ideal man?
To be honest, i have given up hope. Arwa told me that i am so used to playing the victim i continue wanting to be victimised. I realized that i really forgot what i want. I hate writing these things in a blog or even a diary. I believe this things make me look weak and vulerable. Its like i have spent too much time in a cage that i forgot the taste of freedom. So i decided to list down everything i want so that i can keep reminding myself.. I am not too ambitious…
Can i have someone gentle?
Someone who gives some importance to what i say?
Someone who believes in mutual respect?
Someone who doesnt force me into doing things agianst my wishes?
Someone who respects my body mind and soul?
Someone who i can lean on to for the first time in my life?
Someone whom i can really talk about anything to?
Someone who respects my family and freedom?
Someone who will let me fly
Someone who will not abandon me
Someone who doesnt dominate me
Someone who doesnt humiliate me
Someone who lets me have my own space when i need it
Someone who will travel the world with me and help the poor
Someone who doesnt shout too much
Someone who will stay with me till the dying day?
I really dont want anything else i guess. Arwa always tells me to remmeber who i am than moulding myself to what the companion wants me to be. I am really a lame person i guess. Maybe i am so used to being suffocated that i believe the cage is where i really belong. I know this is an EMO post. But, i swear i dont want money, roses or posh restaurants…All i want is someone who doesnt abuse me..
I shall refer back to this post whenever i think i forget…haiz…