T1b2 is really a family. Today, we hugged and shared the most intimate secrets of our lives. Atleast for the benefit of those reading my blog, i guess i need to talk a few sensitive details.
A problem which seem to be increasing in many societies is divorce. In the past, there was less flexibility in divorce, but nowadays it is very common. People change partners like clothes and they claim this is the way of life. And those who value marriage, love, virginity or children belong to ancient times or labelled “old fashioned”. I had repeated in many of my posts that marriage isnt a joke. Some people take marriage so seriously, they dont want to marry at all.
It seperates us from animalistic living. Having a proper family. My issues teacher Ms Diana was telling us about living together without the ties of marraige. I thought about it for some time. And my own friend’s parents are living together without the bond of marraige. Is there anything wrong. But yes there is. Nothing to do with moral values. But just think, human beings are like cattle, they need some form of boundaries or control, if not they can stray far away. When 2 matured adults take the decision of living together without the bond of marriage, when fights occur it is so much easier to break up and move away. And if you have a kid through that relationship, who suffers? The kid.
You are subjecting that kid to others’ mockery. And a single parent family isnt easy. Children are like gifts from God, they are so pure they need to be protected. And to a child, the mother and father figures are the most important people in the world. I remember, when i was teaching, every child told me that their mother is the most beautiful person on Earth. Sometimes, they even have childish fights on who’s father is better? Imagine, taking away such a vital figure from a child’s life?
Many people divorce without much thought. It is a decision taken by 2 matured adults. But they fail to realise a baby’s future is dependant on it. Divorcing due to family violence is much better. But for other types of situations, no matter how hard it is, they must try to work it out. Atleast for the sake of the child you brought to this world. My friend Florian, is a victim of a single parent family. And for someone from Europe, he has so much rich culture within him. In fact, he is more conservative than i am! And he told me, he was afraid of being alone for the rest of his life. Divorce is a cycle, you prove to your children you cannot stick together, your children will do the same with their spouses in the future. Children learn and imitate adults. And if parents’ unity is vital to a child and it breaks in front of him. When he grows up, what confidence will he have that his marriage wont break up too. The fear is already planted into his heart at a young age.
A child unlike an adult doesnt know the value of money. When Mr. Ryan mentioned about “disney land dads” and how much materialistic things dont matter, he has a point. You can buy the best things in the world for a child. But the child doesnt love you for the thing you buy, he loves you for the time you spend with him. Many parents fail to realise this. Many divorcees feel they can solve problems like this. There is nothing lke feeling the security of a father and love of a Mother. My Grandfather passed away when my Dad was only 10. And he was so involved with business, and due to having a very strict attitude, he hardly spoke to my father. My father would yearn for his love. And when he passed away, my father recalled and told me, it felt like a breeze that suddenly disappeared!
Sometimes, we are so selfish we only think for ourselves but fail to think of the tiny beings we bring to Earth and how important a husband and wife’s unity is to them. Life is about adjustments. If you see a problem as a problem and a spouse like an individual person, then when arguments occur, it can be hard to solve them. Look at him or her, as a part of you, and next time when you think of divorce, think of the tiny child you brought together to this world.
I still find it hard to agree with people living together out of marriage. If there is a relationship, there is sex, and that leads to a child. And a bond like marriage, and the procedue of divorce makes it harder for us to think of seperation when problems occur. But when you arent tied by any bond, it is much easier to leave. Atleast for the sake of the child, think before you make a decsion.
Children look at us as examples and they trust us as parents. Divorce doesnt only kill a marriage, it kills the child too. But i repeat again, divorce due to family violence is perfectly alright to me.