Mr.Ryan just gave me a new topic to be obsessed about. Feminism. Well, i found myself browsing through websites the next moment. Femisim sounds so scary. Like a bunch of mad women talking about women. Thats what i initially felt. Anyways, there was an article about men being raped. And how, their pleas for help need to be heard
Rape is a great topic and i always wondered about it. In the 80’s, many indian movies show the villain pulling the saree off a woman and raping her. And i always wondered if all men do that? Well, the answer is NO. I read once that rape is not about sex. It is about control and power. And rape does not happen as poetically as in indian movies. Where the villain, tastefully swirls the women off her saree, and throw each piece off her clothing out of the window. Only one movie, showed rape as it is. I think it was a tamil movie. He just lifted the skirt and raped her. I am sorry about being technical about it, but i think people should know.
Rape is more of psychological. And its usually done by men who are affected by women throughout their lifes. Like there was a story of a man, who only raped blondes. I dont quite remmeber. Or was it a serial killer? Not everyone can rape. And there is nothing sexual about it at all. It takes a disturbed mind to do that. And rape happens in countries like Iraq, i like to point out this country mainly because of the tyrant Saddam Hussein. Men used rape to dominate and control women. Maybe because i guess women cant rape men back?
Another thing i would like to bring up, something my Contemporary Issues teacher was talking about. Her name is Diana by the way. She was asking the class should a victim of rape abort the baby. And i, immeditaly without thinking bursted out yes! And later after much thought said NO. Well, a man rapes you. You are a victim. But by killing a baby who had nothing to do with it, is a crime. It is like there is no differenrce between you and the rapist!
If i were to be raped(May God protect me), i think i would keep the baby. Well, i have a policy. Poeple can hurt you, but you dont do that back. Diana was saying that you can get the child adopted after giving birth. But, i dont think i can do that. Why must i give my baby away and label it as an orphan? What gurantee do i have that its foster parents would take care of it just as me? And wont i think about the baby in my life? Not everyone can think like me, and i dont expect that.
A baby is a blessing. And dont make it a victim just because you became one. Sometimes, some rape victims are too young! But i still suggest that they give birth to it, if there is no danger. And if the victim is too young, then you can consider adoption. Or if there is danger to the life, then abortion is the best choice.
Once a friend told me. Her name is Arwa and she is a Palestinian. I like viewpoint from people there, as they are sometimes victims of violence from men. She is more like a sister to me. She told me that sometimes women like the idea of being victimised. Like she is to be pitied. And it is pretty sad, because i find my poor German friend being the victim of many indonesian young ladies who swear to him they were raped when they had willful sex.This is how they churned money from him. It is scary, is it a new way for women to seek attenion?
Another topic is Molest. Every woman or man comes across this atleast a few times in their life. And yes me too! I am not ashamed about it anymore. There is nothing to be ashamed about it! One most biggest problem when molest occurs is that, people tend to freeze. There was an article in Straits Times where a male froze when he was being molested by another male, and he was hoping in his mind that the other guy stops!
When i was 15, i was in Kerala. And with a cousin brother in the library of my Uncle’s house. I was molested by him. At that age, i was a little naive and i did trust my brother alot. And when it was happening, i couldnt tell if he was touching me in a sisterly manner or something else. Only after a while, i realised that i was molested. And later i learnt, my other cousin was molested at the age of ten. And i got so MAD, i confronted him. Slapped his face and tore his shirt. 🙂 it felt good!
Molest did not stop there. Sometimes you wonder if a certain action can be considered molest. Or when a girl freeze, the guy takes it as a cue that she is ok about it. Recently, when i went out with a guy friend it happened again. I just sat there and hoped he would stop, I was telling myself, “he would stop in 2 seconds, yes he will”. And the horrified expression was distinct on my face. Later on, i went home crying to my other guy friend Anis. He told me that i should react quickly. But it is hard. Beacuse you are not sure what is he touching you as? And what hurt me most, i was talking about my feelings to Arwa’s cousin Jaber, another palestinian, who was very cruel towards my feelings. And till today, i cant help it but hold a tiny itsby bitsy grudge. I cant blame him, he is a little young but i really considered him as my blood and was sharing my trauma. But he made it sound like it was my fault and why i froze. And i kept asking myself that question too. I wasnt enjoying it. I was just so lost. It is a very hard situation. You can only understand when you are in it yourself. Alot of molest victims face this!And my girl friend told me, when a guy touches you with wrong intention, the sensor in a woman detects it. Yes, i know the difference between my normal classmates touching me and a pervert touching me.
Molest is far more common than rape. And dont blame yourself when you freeze, it ISNT your fault and you WERENT enjoying it!It is only recently after much research i learnt that molest victims actually freeze when it happens. Honestly, i dont know why. And till today, i have not mastered how to get out of “Frozen” mode. But if you ever get a chance to meet that person again, slap him or her real hard!