Well, some people learn from books others learn by watching or observing. I think i learn by interacting. Most of my knowledge, is usually gained by talking with the most different people in the world
I have a friend. He is about 35 years old. Excellent character. One day, i bump onto him at Mustafa centre. I know he got married recently and his wife applied for divorce right after one month and simply told him she was never interested. This is an arranged marraige by the way. And he asked why she didnt inform him earlier, and she refused to tell him anything. Since, the marriage is not consummated, according to Shariah law (islamic law) divorce is almost immediate.
I felt pity for him. Marriage is such a big event in anyone’s life. And now my friend is stereotyped as a divorcee. We sat for tea, and my aim was to make this man loosen all his feelings. So, to make him more comfortable. I started to talk about my biggest disaster with a person, the only man i consider i had a serious relationship with. And how tragically it ended, making me totally shy away from male species. I dont wish to name my friend. Anyway my friend immeditaly became relaxed when he heard my story.
I kept saying my losses. The pain, THE CRAP I WENT THROUGH. And then my friend began saying how crippled he felt with relationships. I cannot blame him. I told him it needs time. Sometimes, unfortunate things happen. But everything happens for a reason. This episode in his life must mean something!
I continued telling him. WHAT THE HELL IS LOVE TO YOUNGSTERS OF TODAY? (Sorry for such words, my emotions are being displayed in the form of words here.) Well, today two young people meet, they eat (in their parents money), they watch movie together (in their parents money) they go shopping (in their parents money). And then, they break up after a week or so.
And i asked him, “Do you want to know where is Romeo and Juliet?”. He looked at me blankly. I told him. “Your parents! There are the real Romeo and Juliet!”. The fact that they stick together after so many years of problems and not abandoning the ship, that is LOVE.
Anyone can “love” if you are financially dependant on someone else. Love is not about saying “O YOU ARE LIKE THE MOON, THE STAR AND THE SUN!”. It is about sticking together in times of despair.
In a marriage, you got to work, pay bills, run the household. Then you see the pain. And to some couples, LOVE IS NOT BEAUTIFUL ANYMORE!. No, that is when it gets more beautiful. You dont expect your wife to tell you at the age of 40, “Honey, chocolate, milkybar come and have your dinner!”. IN YOUR DREAMS! In actual reality, that doesnt happen. Most probably you will get a “Yo! Dont be an idiot and come and eat lah!”. Thats what you will get
Does that mean your wife doesnt love you? No. Love is not about sweet words like i mentioned. It is about sticking to each other and fighting external problems together. No matter how big they are. Life is full of problems. And so is love. There is no such love as sweet nothings.
Even internal conflict is healthy. Most divorces occur, when couples avoid fights because they fear it will eventually lead to divorce. It is better to vomit feelings at each other than keeping to yourself. Tell what you feel directly. Who is your husband and wife after all? Your better half? And if he or she is a part of you, there is no hiding. That is how beautiful a relationship is between a husband and a wife.
The real romeo and juliets are our parents. Certainly, not glamourous like Shakephere portrays romeo and juliet. But definitely, much deeper.
If you want to test your love, just get yourself married! Then you would know! I told my friend to cleanse himself from his dreadful past and look at the bright future ahead. He will get a good wife in God’s grace. A much better one.
It is such a pity women throw away the good men in this world. Requirements in a man or a woman, is not in looks or a sexy body (This goes 4 joshua, jacky and Brian). It is about good character. Not even finances. A man can be poorly educated, as long as he knows he needs to feed his family, he will work hard. Nowadays, what people look for are credit cards, cars and condominiums.
And now my friend is stereotyped as a divorcee and in indian society it is difficult for him to remarry. There was a thought on my head as i looked into his eyes. It was almost tearing by the way. Whether he was a divorcee or not, any smart women would marry a man like him, who has good morals. Even i would? Divorcees are not jinx or cursed people. They are only victims of a failed relationship. I wish society will accept them!