Kya me Bewafa hoon ?

Bewafa?

This is something i would love to write about. A friend of mine called me Bewafaa (Unfaithful one in hindi) all of a sudden. He meant it in a joking way actually. In the history of all the nicknames ive gotten, i think this is the most suitable one. Yes i am unfaithful. Ever since i went into FSV i had been ignoring alot of people.  Ive always had a bad nature of forgettng birthdays and looking at updates,

Well i have a reply to all those people now…

Haan main Bewafa hoon..  lol (indeed i am unfaithful) I dont mean it people. My course is such. I will be more faithful next time.

Ok this is a egyptian pop bellydance. It is mostly performed in Egypt bars and clubs. It is basically bellydancing to modern songs. This is the first time i am trying my hand at it. I mixed it with a choreograhy i learnt from my old teacher. I am quite aware of my mistakes in this video. Even though, many people are very kind towards me. I must specially thank Ariadne for her music and a dances. Her dance had always inspired me to try different things.

I had been practising my belly rolling. I do see an improvement in it. Ive to thank my teacher for that. It is really important to know your different muscles.

I have a deep desire to try tribal bellydance soon…

PULAU UBIN AND ME

Kimberly, Adrian and I found a new hobby. Cycling at pulau ubin. The rocky paths were great. It was adventurous. N i was very surprised i could handle the tough paths. I am not an excellent cyclist. But i love cycling there. The fresh air, the simple life and being free. I must thank Adrian for that. He does know quite alot of good stuff. N i admire the fact that he eats healthy and is physically active.

 We cycled till we ached today. We visitied some really scary places. It was really fun. I hope to try kayaking sometime.

Posh vs Rural villages?

We were discussing about where we like to hang out. Most of my friends love posh restuarants, malls and the movies. They like to dress good and eat good food. Even if its a date, this is the offers ive gotten. Its always some posh place.

Its true i love to dress. But that doesnt mean i like sitting in some post restuarant, sipping away some expensive tea that costs a fortune. (No offence to my good friend Traviz).

I am a little like a guy. I love doing what i did today. Cycling, falling down, hiking, camping, boating. This is what i like. I felt like i was a character frm moby dick when i looked out into the sea. It was magical. I have a wish to learn how to swim, surf and kayak. I like that. It feels so good cycling on those rocky paths. Unafraid of injuries. The path was dangerous. Honestly speaking… I am a careful rider so i guess i was safe.

What more?

That place reminded me of Kerala so much. The air was fresh. The place was rural. Simple shops, huts, natural food, stray dogs and mosquito bites! I loved it. There was the sea by the side. Sound of waves. The sight of boats. The scorching sun. The whole place reminded me of some old setting or like how Singapore would be in the 60’s. Its my dream to revisit those times. I hate malls, concrete jungles and mechanical lives. I envy the lives of those people. A simple hut. Clean air and fresh food.

My dad told me once that i am attached to the past. I haved asked everyone if they ever wanted to timetravel to da future or to da past. Most said future. But i would love the past. I wannt to experience how they all lived. This tiny trips to pulau ubin is making me look forward to Borneo. I really hope no one screws my trip. I want to live like a villager there. It has been my dream.

It wll be good if you had a buddy or a mate who shared the same thoughts as you. I want to travel alot and do quite alot. And i guess i will start off with borneo first

Feelings UPDATE

This is Ahmet. Another one of those special people. I have very few special people in my life. I have mentioned a few here. My good friend Florian…Traviz ..shirin my beloved bro Anas ..and a few others. My brain isnt thinking. I am starting out with Ahmet. There are few things i wanna state to people. Ahmet has always respected my dancing. He is from a conservative culture. He is Muslim. Yet, he never discourages my dancing. Never looks at me in a wrong way. He is a good soul. And i love him for his good friendship. 

He had a knee operation. And i am praying for him. Those who read this blog, please pray for him as well.

Well, i wanna start off with a very uncomfortable situation. I love bellydancing. All my good friends know that. My family knows that. Everyone knows i dont dance to seduce anyone! But some asians, are under the impression that just because i dance i can be touched any way.

This goes to some people who had been very unkind towards me. My body is my property. I know you are being friendly. But,, please keep your hands to yourself. Whether you are younger or older, it doesnt matter. You are a guy, And i dont like it. I dance cos i love dancing. Not because i am some public property. I never do this in my blog. But i am very angry. I dont have the guts to tell you. So i am blogging. Those who are guilty of it, please understand me.

Its the culture. ASIA i guess does not respect a woman who love to dance? Just because a girl likes bellydance, does not mean you can behave any way you like. And especially indians. Some indians.  Some really bad group of indians.

I know you are friends. But there are certain ways to behave with them. I dont like telling people off. I am still quite handicapped. I cant believe this world is so backward in their thinking. I am upset. I always blog something useful. But now i am just ranting.

I can advise everyone to react immediately when they are being handled in a way they dont like. It sometimes make me want to take down all my videos and run into a small hole. I cannot dance without being respected. Because i am a woman. And indian at that?

Honestly, i am very hurt. I want to tell you badly that i dont like it. When i move away, i am trying to tell you not to continue. Yet, you keep doing it. I am angry.

My small world

My small world comprises of very few people. I dont have much friends. I dont have a big social circle like my elder sister. I love all my friends. And yes my brother. I am crying nowdays. I still miss him. I want him so badly. I want to tell him how i feel about this. He was like an umbrella to me, protecting me from stupid people. I am like alone now. Fending for myself. Its always nice to have an elder bro who looks out 4 u. Sometimes i dream i am running towards him. When bad things happen, i wish i die quickly so i can be with him. I dont want to marry. Cos i cant imagine a wedding without him. I remeber how i used to run to him when i was a kid. It felt so good to sit on his lap. Go bike rides with him. I dont dare go back to India. I am scared to face the reality. I love you so much bro

Trust in me (Slow bellydance)

So after much request from HHVB. I have done this video. This is my interpretation of Kaa’s song. I am not a good slow bellydancer. But i am trying. This dance was unchoreographed. But it was a great way of celebrating after my a tough semester.

I realized that before doing a peformance, always tie weights to ur hips and dance. Ur actual performace will be much much smoother.

Borneo Trip

Its a pity Ray cant make it. I feel really sad about it. But i guess i cant tell her to go against her parents. I was reading around to get a feel of the place before i start planning what to bng a long. I dont think i should have a problem living there. I had stayed in several places in India. Rich poor and all. Even though my reltiaves are well off there. I had visited poorer homes. Experienced mosquito bites, power cuts and aircon less nites. Trust me, i am more than happy to go.

I was reading Kane’s blog to understand how is it to stay there. I guess its pretty bizzarre for anyone from singapore to go and experience a village. I love villages. I love the chickens, cows, padi fields and wells. I dont mind the mosquito bites. I love the fresh air, the clean food and simple life.

It was almost trying to get a preview of a life me and florian dreamt of. A simple village. It would have been good to have my friend flo here. I miss him so much. He is as boring as me. Trust me, we dont talk about Tv fashion or movies. We talk about life. People. Places. Things we want to improve on. Its the way i am i guess, I am boring. And i have the perfect twin with me, Florian. We can sit for hours and talk.

I am quite excited about this trip. I like learning about people. Their lives. I am fine with bucket showers and toilets. I can survive. But i am just scared of privacy. I want my tea, a small mirror in the toilet. I kind of feel safe with mirrors. I am scared of people watching me when im bathing. Its a phobia i developed after a bad experienece. And i wish i could speak Bahasa Indonesia. Florian is fluent in it. I only know manis, pedas…some food items…i dont even know how to say ‘I love you’ in Bahasa. lol. I only know some malay. My dad can speak Malay real fluently.

My friend got married today

I feel so excited. Khaleel got married today again. I blogged about him before. His 1st marriage didnt work out. I feel so happy 4 him. I thnaked God the moment i heard he was going to get married. He gave up on marriage after the failure. But now i feel really relieved he decided to marry again.

Mr. Question Mark?

I felt i had to write about this guy. I keep bumping into him. I dont know why he attracts me. I dont have a crush on him. Its nothing like that. I just felt he had everything i looked for. facial features. Beard, moustache, long hair. I just think he is so good looking. I felt like i was a teen again. I dont know who he is. But i was so surprised that this guy would keep such a look. Most guys follow the latest trend. This guy stands out.

He is good looking and all. And i think he would be the perfect charactr for a movie i am thinking to make. I imagined him. It looked perfect.

Then again, a guy can be cute. To me, it ends there. I dont want to think about the process of a relationship. It ends up always in one stupid route. I am not being cynical. I rather have a serious relationship. If someone likes me, i would perfer him to propose marriage. Its more gentleman like. And i can know how serious he is. Really i am not in the stupid road of love fights sex and break up. I rather have a life partner that has brain and a heart. Then, smeone who just wants to try things out. I might be only 21. But im like 30. I am too tired of trying already.

Happy married life Khaleel

ME featured in EPIC-FU

Looks like my dance 4 creative socpsy journal made it big …hahah…lets just hope Danny Boey my lecturer liked it. Its in the middle of the video  :>