I am a person who believe in Science. In fact, i need evidences. In one of my IAC classes, i did a personality test and it seems i am the only ”sensor” in my class. Sensors are people who need evidences to support a theory, they never buy stories without proper evidences.
That was what made me question God. Do you have proof God exists? And my idea of God(creator) is someone who knows his creation well. Therefore, God(creator) should know science, geography, biology and astronomy more than human beings.
So, i searched, searched and searched all the science books i can get my hands on. According to scientists, the origin of the universe started with BIG BANG THEORY.
Now WHAT IN HELL IS BIG BANG THEORY!!!
People often have a misconception that its an explosion which led to existance of the universe. It is more like a tiny balloon expanding to what our universe is today. Our universe is imagined to have sprung out from a really hot, dense “singulairty” (Lets just called the damned thing a Balloon”.And where this balloon came from, no one knows. But, scietists believe it just appeared there.
Ok now let us look at this in a different perspective :)
You are now sitting on your butt, in front of your computer and reading my blog. The very blog you read, doesnt just appear from nowhere. Some Dumbo by the name of Sabreena wrote it. And the computer certainly didnt appear by magic, your dad bought it from a shop, and that computer was manufactured and made by some people in some part of the world. And the parts of the computer basically came from the raw materials of the Earth.
So, if you believe, everything around you doesnt just appear there and some ass created it. Then, how can really intelligent scientists come up with the Dumbest conclusion that a “singulairity”(the same damned balloon i was talking about” just appeared there and expanded. Who do you think put the balloon there.
The fact that something is BEING from NON BEING tell us, there is a creator.
PROOF OF BIG BANG
I apologise to not have added this proof earlier on. And i realised some people still dont accept the fact. I shall write some evidences that proves the Big bang theory. And those, who have evidences that opposes this theory, feel free to post. But again, in neutral manner. This is not a forum! Its a place to discuss! And your evidences must be purely scientific!
RADIATION SUPPORTS THE BIG BANG THEORY
(I am not plagerising, an excerpt from scholar harun yahya again) ( I am summarising it)
In 1965, Two researcgers Arno Penzias and Robert Wilson chanced upon form of radiation hitheto unoticed. This radiation was apparently an echo of the Big Bang. And it did not seem to radiate from a particular source, but from the whole space.
In 1989, NASA sent Cosmic background explorer (COBE) satellite into space to do research on cosmic background radiation. Within 8 minutes, the sensitive instruments detected and confirmed levels of radiation. The COBE had found the remains of the big explosiion that had taken place at the outset of the universe.
more evidence?
The relative amount of hydrogen and helium in the universe is another proof. Observations indicated that the hydrogen-helium concentration in the universe was in accord with theoritcal calculations of what should have remained after the Big Bang. That drove another stake into the heart of steady state theory beacuse if the universe had existed for eternity and never had a beginning, all of its hydrogen should have been burned into helium
*Steady state theory referred to eternal universe with no beginning or ending
Something scary
After the big bang theory, it seemed there came about a great balance that contained the stars. galaxies, sun and moon. And the universe is constantly expanding in a uniform rate, that if one moves faster than the other, the whole universe can explode.
Professor Stephen Hawking states in his book “A brief history of time”
If the rate of expansion one second after the big bang had been smaller by even one part in a hundred thousand million million, the universe would have recollapsed before it ever reached its present size”.
Explosions are known to have destructive effects. And the after effects of an explosion, is usually scattered parts lying randomly here and there. But think about what i told you. And explosion that is done so uniformly, so planned, could it have just been coincidence. ALL OF IT? Does it make sense?
See what SIR FRED HOYLE , THE MAN WHO OPPOSED BIG BANG THEORY, SAYS
The big bang theory holds that the universe began with a single explosion. Yet as can be seen below, an explosion merely throws matter apart, while the big bang has mysteriously produced an opposite effect-with matter clumping together in the form of galaxies
Well, now that i have made you think. Let us see a qoute from the brilliant scientist ALBERT EINSTEIN,
He said, SCIENCE WITHOUT RELIGION IS LAME, RELIGION WITHOUT SCIENCE IS BLIND.
So, at this point when i discovered there is a creator. And that creator is a master of science, i started my research on many religions as possible to see, which religion talks about science accurately! And that was how i started. I have no issues with free thinkers. But i rememeber having an issue with a bunch of atheists who mocked me once for believing in God. I told them the story of the table and how it cant exist just like that. They all shut their mouths. I cant take people who dont believe in God out of ego. Human beings, perish and they are nothing! In fact, we cant even control our own destinies or bring the dead back. So, why do we think we are so great? And i am ok with people who dont believe in God as long as they dont mock those who do. Especially those who have evidences like me!!!!
SABREENA IS CLEOPATRA (makeover edition)
May 27, 2007
My 1st attempt at character makeup (cleopatra)
I couldnt decide how cleopatra should look like, so tried few styles
Long live the skinnyness …yucky
I had taken some time at attempting to straighten my hair, but it didnt work!!!!
Cleopatra’s messy room looool and i am NOT NAKED!
And i was thanking God for giving me such brown skin that i needed no bronzer to make me look brown. Bronzers cost 30 bucks ok!!! Its expensive for such a tiny tin!!!
Cleopatra smiling her sexiest muahuahuahuah so scary man!!!
Anyway people, this is my first attempt at character makeup. Character makeup is a type of art where you try to imitate someone famous. I did this after doing bridal makeup for a girl. And i dont think i can sleep till 4am as we have studio production test tommrow. And all of you plesae comment and tell me how this character makeup turned out, so i can improve! Thats the main point why i am posting it. And it would be fun for you guys to know, makeup is really art. I used MAC on my eyes. And i didnt apply any foundation, as i hate it to the core. And that is a belly dancing chain on my head. And a golden hairband on my neck. Yes i got it from Aries Jun Jie, and i havent removed the price tag yet! And people Comments please!
DIVORCE? WHO IS AFFECTED REALLY?
May 25, 2007
T1b2 is really a family. Today, we hugged and shared the most intimate secrets of our lives. Atleast for the benefit of those reading my blog, i guess i need to talk a few sensitive details.
A problem which seem to be increasing in many societies is divorce. In the past, there was less flexibility in divorce, but nowadays it is very common. People change partners like clothes and they claim this is the way of life. And those who value marriage, love, virginity or children belong to ancient times or labelled “old fashioned”. I had repeated in many of my posts that marriage isnt a joke. Some people take marriage so seriously, they dont want to marry at all.
It seperates us from animalistic living. Having a proper family. My issues teacher Ms Diana was telling us about living together without the ties of marraige. I thought about it for some time. And my own friend’s parents are living together without the bond of marraige. Is there anything wrong. But yes there is. Nothing to do with moral values. But just think, human beings are like cattle, they need some form of boundaries or control, if not they can stray far away. When 2 matured adults take the decision of living together without the bond of marriage, when fights occur it is so much easier to break up and move away. And if you have a kid through that relationship, who suffers? The kid.
You are subjecting that kid to others’ mockery. And a single parent family isnt easy. Children are like gifts from God, they are so pure they need to be protected. And to a child, the mother and father figures are the most important people in the world. I remember, when i was teaching, every child told me that their mother is the most beautiful person on Earth. Sometimes, they even have childish fights on who’s father is better? Imagine, taking away such a vital figure from a child’s life?
Many people divorce without much thought. It is a decision taken by 2 matured adults. But they fail to realise a baby’s future is dependant on it. Divorcing due to family violence is much better. But for other types of situations, no matter how hard it is, they must try to work it out. Atleast for the sake of the child you brought to this world. My friend Florian, is a victim of a single parent family. And for someone from Europe, he has so much rich culture within him. In fact, he is more conservative than i am! And he told me, he was afraid of being alone for the rest of his life. Divorce is a cycle, you prove to your children you cannot stick together, your children will do the same with their spouses in the future. Children learn and imitate adults. And if parents’ unity is vital to a child and it breaks in front of him. When he grows up, what confidence will he have that his marriage wont break up too. The fear is already planted into his heart at a young age.
A child unlike an adult doesnt know the value of money. When Mr. Ryan mentioned about “disney land dads” and how much materialistic things dont matter, he has a point. You can buy the best things in the world for a child. But the child doesnt love you for the thing you buy, he loves you for the time you spend with him. Many parents fail to realise this. Many divorcees feel they can solve problems like this. There is nothing lke feeling the security of a father and love of a Mother. My Grandfather passed away when my Dad was only 10. And he was so involved with business, and due to having a very strict attitude, he hardly spoke to my father. My father would yearn for his love. And when he passed away, my father recalled and told me, it felt like a breeze that suddenly disappeared!
Sometimes, we are so selfish we only think for ourselves but fail to think of the tiny beings we bring to Earth and how important a husband and wife’s unity is to them. Life is about adjustments. If you see a problem as a problem and a spouse like an individual person, then when arguments occur, it can be hard to solve them. Look at him or her, as a part of you, and next time when you think of divorce, think of the tiny child you brought together to this world.
I still find it hard to agree with people living together out of marriage. If there is a relationship, there is sex, and that leads to a child. And a bond like marriage, and the procedue of divorce makes it harder for us to think of seperation when problems occur. But when you arent tied by any bond, it is much easier to leave. Atleast for the sake of the child, think before you make a decsion.
Children look at us as examples and they trust us as parents. Divorce doesnt only kill a marriage, it kills the child too. But i repeat again, divorce due to family violence is perfectly alright to me.
Week 6 reflection and notes.
May 25, 2007
NOTES AND REFLECTION
SCREENWRITER
-CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE NOT MADE UP OF WORDS. BUT AUDIENCE EMOTIONAL REACTION TO THAT INFORMATION
STORY IS ABOUT
-PEOPLE TO PEOPLE
PURPOSE OF WRITER
-TO CONNECT TO THEMSELVES
-THEIR UNIQUE VISION
-THE MATERIAL
-THE DRAMA
-OTHERS
(Audience wants to be transported by a screen play)
WHERE DO WE LOOK FOR A STORY
In ourselves. Everything to learn about other people is already in you.
STORYTELLING TOOLS
1)OBSERVATION AND EXPERIENCE
All people have fragments of stories. These potential ideas prompt your desire to know more and respond intellectualy to what you heard. The best stories are from your heart and not the head. Remember the role of audience and remember that we are the audience.
2) MEMORY
Memory is wonderful cabinet of past incidents which you have experienced. These memories are points of references to our past own expereince.
REFLECTION
What we did and what i learnt from it
Mr.Ryan told us to sit in group and read out our “letters to the past” to each other and the others will give us a critic. As i was sitting there, listening to each one of them emotionally telling me the deepest past secrets, all the shame i felt about my letter of the past flew away. I regretted, writing something so personal in a blog, until today when everyone was so brave to tell what they felt. And Mr. Ryan is very right when he said it is hard for us to give critic to a person who wrote it with such emotion. As i sat there, listening to Joshua’s tale or Seri’s tale, i was thinking, what do i say? Tell them to improve on how they feel. They were telling what they felt and that is how it should be.
Later on, i was telling Mr. Ryan, that i didnt bothered to correct my mistakes in my letter on purpose. Somehow, i wanted it that way. I wrote it all in one go, and throughout my letter i stuttered and cried. And those mistakes, kind of showed my reluctance to tell certain details in certain parts of the letter. And the audience can percieve in that way. For an example, in a part of the letter, the mistakes become slightly more and the handwriting gets a little rushed or weak looking, it reflects on the racing thoughts and feelings the writer been through. And i wanted to preserve that. It gives it a natural feeling. As a human being, when you are writing the first draft of an emotional letter, you bound to make mistakes. And that mistakes, and the irregular pattern of writing reflects the height of emotions going up and down the story. It makes audience relate to that letter and they go by memory that they have done the same mistakes when they are writing a letter, esepcially when their emotions arent stable
So what did we learn?
I think what Mr. Ryan wanted us to realise is, we can have emotion and substance in our stories. But HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE YOUR AUDIENCE FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DO!!
That is the point. The main idea, is to capture your audience and make them go through the same roller coaster of emotions you been through in that particular memory you shared with them.
The biggest advantage as a writer we have is that, we are the audience too. And we share the same emotions any one from the audience will have. The main key, is to look into ourselves, put ourselves as the audience and imagine how we would react to a situation. This is the only way, we can connect to the audience and make them feel the same way we feel. Words and emotions can be used to make a story visual, and the audience can imagine the exact pain or pleasure we have been through.
By using our memories, experience and observation as humans we can connect to other humans. Human beings tend to get comfortable with things they can relate to, and emotions is something that connect every human being despite race,religion or culture.
A good example is, Heaven. Heaven is a a place something like utopia. We have only heard of it through religious gospels but have never seen it. Yet we are able to visualise it and feel and imagine that place having clouds, angels and somewhere up in the sky. We are able to see all this, without even going to that place. In that way, it has captured us.
Hell, when we think of it, we think of a dark place with fire all over. We imagine it to be a place of suffering. We have never been there, but all humans tend to visualise hell the way i have described it. Why? It follows the same tools as storytelling, we go by memory experience and observation. Throughout our lives, we observe people who do crime to go to a dark place called prison. They are punished and subjected to torture, and the little punishments we gain in life gives us a sort of memory and experience. Which could explain why we all think of hell in the same way.
Somehow, the religious gospels tapped onto our fears of the unknown, guilt and experiences and caused us to flow with the description, to imagine a place like hell and heaven.
Therefore, storytelling techniques is everywhere. Even with God! Another thing, which i also realise is that how we display our story to the viewers. The display is like a portal where the film maker and viewers communicate to each other. And every detail must be clear. If not the audience will lose connection fast.
In the letter to the past, some of us wrote names and never explained who it really was. Maybe because, the intended audience was the person they were writing too. It is something that i realised in the class.
WRITING SOMETHING YOU DONT KNOW
What happens if you have never lost a love one in your life, does it mean you cannot write a story about it? No. That is why we are blessed that all humans share emotions. This is where we become the audience, and visualise and imagine the pain of losing a loved one, in that way we are able to display it. And audience can be captured. And we can also relate to our observation skills, example observing someone who lost a loved one. By seeing their reaction, we can put it in our stories. Movie actors, example playing a role of a cripple, will observe cripples and trained to act like them. Just like that, a flim maker must observe, use his experience and memory to make a story or even write something he doesnt know about.
I hope i got it right.
Bridal makeover
May 24, 2007
So, i am modifying the look and taking “sunset” to “sunrise”
On tuesday, T1B2 witnessed a “look” somewhat similar to what i have done here. And Ray even named it “Sunset”, so i thought of adding some modification and here you see “sunrise”. All i am left with is to run to little india and get some bridal bindi and a nose ring for the bride 
Some information for those who dont know anything about bridal stuff.
Indian wedding
Indian weddings are usually colorful and full of live. Once, when we were discussing arabian makeup with some europeans, they passed a comment that they would not like to look better than the bride and would prefer simple makeup. If this comment, were to be passed in india, i guess many people would be shocked. Everyone dresses really colorful for the wedding function. The colors used are to present good luck and happiness. Therefore, they dressed in their best clothings to wish the couple “colors” in their married life.
Most indian weddings are dressed really colorful, except from the part of india I CAME FROM!! We, malayalees are very simple people. The bride is dressed in some attire called MUNDU, it is usually white (which is very different from other parts of india) or atleast white and red. She has a simple veil. The groom is dressed in white too. He wears a dhoti around his waist, unfortunately he is topless with a long shawl around his neck. Both the bride and the groom wear silk. And yes, there is lots of jewellery involved with the bride.
Nowadays, malayalees are getting more colorful. But they still do have very bad dressing sense. They prefer simple yet sophisticated looks. Just like other traditions, we have henna, bridal jewellery and tying of the mangalsutra(yellow string). This mangalsutra are only used for hindu malayalee weddings. Christian malayalees do exchange rings and tie mangalsutra for sake of culture, and so do Muslim and jew malayalees. Christian malayalees stick to the european traditions of gowns. They still do wear a lame malayalee veil though. Muslim malayalee weddings are more colorful, sometimes they forsake the MUNDU and wear a lehenga(a bright indian wedding dress).
A slightly more colorful Mundu. A mundu is tying a cloth usually white around your chest, with a saree blouse. The saree blouse is usually red. The hair is tied in the side of the head in a bun style. They decorate it with jasmine flowers. Gold is the most common ornament used by indians. They wear bangles and tikka. The nosestud is a tradition that malayalees dont adopt. Nose studs are worn by indians from other parts of india, example the tamils or gujaratis. My mum murdered me when she discovered i had a nose piercing!
Hope i can bring T1B2 to kerala one day!
Oh Ya! I forgot to say…I LOVEEEE KERALAAAAA
Teaching Kiddies
May 21, 2007
I dont know. But i enjoy being with kids than with adults. And now the only kid i teach is Amy. I am doing an experiment on her! Well, i hope i will be in contact with her until she matures. When i was young, i asked my dad questions. He would ask me to search it myself. I used to think he didnt care. But lately, i think he did that because he cared! He is a type of father, who didnt believe in spoon feeding! He wanted me to explore and learn myself. And maybe that is why sometimes you would see me obsessing about certain topics. Some ask me, why am i unnecessarily exploring? I dont know. I find many people feed us crap and it is up to us whether we want to eat it or not. I rather have solid proofs on a topic. And i rather dig up those truths myself, then reading it off someone’s else research!
My experiment is to simplify adult knowledge (not RA) and feed Amy. If making me explore information at a young age created a Sabreena that still explores? What would feeding Amy knowledge an adult is exposed to (Again not RA) I change complex stories or general knowledge into kiddy information. That creates a sort of curiousity in her. I believe i am doing good. Every Child is like a human body. You are what you eat!
So with children, especially when they ask meanings to really huge words. We cannot just tell them the meanings. If you read up more on this topic, you would realise children learn through seeing and hearing. As for me, i learn through hearing i guess.
So how do we make a subject visual. This doesnt only apply to kiddies. It applies to teenagers as well. You can go about vomitting words at them, like textbooks do. At the end of the day, it would be a transfer of words from teacher’s mouth to students notes on paper.
So we dealt with Sarcasm. For a 7 year old kid, that is a big word. To teach a kid, you have to be a kid i guess. And i acted out the meaning. And i captured a video of her acting the meaning of sarcasm out. And she was proud to see herself on video. Forgive me, due to my poor knowledge and lack of patience with the internet, my videos are all at a weird 90 degree angle. So cock your heads and watch them. If you need a massage just email me!
The problem with many student care centres and schools especially primary schools is that they listen too much to asian parents, who prefer everything in black and white. As in notes or worksheets. Yes it is a great reflection. But isnt it better that your kid spends more time understanding what he or she learns than spending time uselessly on notes she or he cant even comprehend? Than some stupid notes provided by a school as a gimmick that your kiddy is learning something?
The 2nd word we dealt with is EXAGERRATION. So again, i gave her an example. A really simple one. Like making a big fuss about losing a pencil. Then i realised, that LOSING A PENCIL is a big thing to a 7 year old! And the PRINCIPALS have higher authority than POLICEMEN. My kiddy took it to the next level. I didnt mind it as long as she understood what she learnt.
Watch da video
Then we came across PERSONAL PRONOUNS.
I cant just tell a kiddy a huge word called personal pronouns. So we SANG a song about it. And little Amy remembers her HE, SHE, THEY etc.
The lyrics are
SHE IS, HE IS, AND THEY ARE. YOU ARE, WE ARE, AND THEY ARE. ONE PERSON IS AND MANY PERSONS ARE. BUT I REMEMBER THAT I AM. SHE IS, HE IS AND THEY ARE. YOU ARE, WE ARE AND THEY ARE
A good thing about this song is that.Not only are the personal pronouns highlighted. The kiddy remmebers when to use ARE and when to use IS. So we hit 2 birds with one stone.
Sometimes, adults have a misconception that we have to be strict with children. Like using canes to teach them. Force never works. We have to be them to teach them.
Sometimes i create stories with science concepts. Like if you were to ask a secondary school kid which is stronger, IRON or STEEL in retaining magnetism. He would try to recall what his textbook said.
So i told them a story.
ONCE UPON A TIME, THEY LIVED A MAN BY THE NAME OF STEEL AND LIVED ANOTHER MAN BY THE NAME OF IRON. THE IRON MAN LEARNS VERY QUICKLY AND THE STEEL MAN LEARNS VERY SLOWLY. BUT AFTER 5 YEARS, WHEN YOU ASK THEM A QUESTION, IRON MAN FORGETS AND STEEL MAN REMMEBERS.
Yes iron is faster in getting magnetised and loses its magnestism as quickly. And steel is slower in getting magnetised and retains magnetsim much stronger than iron.
Just like food has to be made colorful for young people, so is education.It is knowledge.
So the good news is we have 3 more makeup assignments. The bad news is, me and my lovely acne started seducing the camera.
Was about to say smtg when it got clicked!!
Thats not a tikka on my head, its an earring!! 
Smoky eyes is a classic look, very easy to achieve if you know how to blend.
Is that my sister’s bra?
Modification added is, i lined the whole lid top and bottom with MAC CARBON
Not advisable if you are not too adventurous. And not many can carry it off. In fact, i thought i looked like a witch.
Last attempt in seducing the camera, after that i went to sleep. Too tired!
THIS IS OUR BRIDE!!! Next sunday is her engagement.. And who are the makeup artist 
Sabreena and Shirin ji
During Melanie’s Class, these were the expressions we threathened her with, if she were to fail our podcasts which was shortly broadcasted after this pic was taken.
For those intrested in the look, its called SMOKY EYE LOOK. So i add a few modifications to it. I used MAC CLUB and MAC CARBON. MAC fluidline, MAC KOHOL LINER.
Well, i think i rather make this entry useful for those who wish to learn things. Especially for guys. I mean what do they undestand? So, i will write about my short experience with the discovery of tikka
Tikka is the ornament indian women wear in the centre parting of her hair, like my 2nd picture. I was at work and spoke to an Australian eldery man. Who told me if i know why indian women wore tikka.
I shook my head. And asked him to tell me. He told me, that indians believed in evil eyes. Which means, if something or someone is beautiful and another person looks at it with envy, that beautiful person might fall sick or die.
So according to him, indians wore ornaments to distract people from the beautiful face. I was so surprised to hear that from him.
And he also gave an explanation for Bindi. Bindi is the dot indian women wear on their forehead. Indians believe in the third eye which Lord Shiva the destroyer has. The Bindi represents the Third eye.
There is also a funny explanation why the Japanese spared the indians during the japanese occupation in Singapore. The bindi or the red dot indians wore on their foreheads imitated their Flag, the rising red sun. Therefore, indians were spared.
Back to the eldery man. He even taught me about Feng shui. I like the eldery people from there. I managed to mingle with many 60 year old who travelled around the world. I couldnt see my own grandparents. Whenever i spoke to them i felt a sort of affection. Eldery people are walking books of knowledge. Treasure them!
week 5 reflection
May 19, 2007
Today Mr. Ryan showed us a movie called election. Earlier on, i had a totally different idea of what Aristotle’s idea of tragedy is. The very word tragedy meant to me what indian movie tragedies were like. Really sad ones. That you wonder how can one man have so many problems!
Mr. Ryan i am going to write it in such a way, so if i ever have to refer back i can understand what i really mean.
Aristotle Tragedy = Election Tragedy
Aristotle idea of tragedy is reversal of fortune which he called catastrophe. The character is in his highest point, and because of one mistake he makes, he falls down. That is tragedy. And this character is usually a good person. There is also a cause and effect chain in the tragedy.
Election idea of tragedy
It is pretty much the same. Jim is a teacher in a high school and he is very happy with his life. He has a good wife and perfect life. Then he meets Tracy flick who apparently has an affair with one of her teachers and causes him ruin. Tracy flick is a girl with a go- getter attitude. When she decides to run for class president, Jim fears that he has to spend more time with the girl. So he decides, to get Paul to run for election too. Jim seems to have a poor sex life with his wife, who wants to have kids after completeing nursing school. Beacuse of that, Jim decides to have an affair with her best friend. And when that happens, his wife gets to know about. His marraige breaks up. Later part of the movie, the election results are out. And Tracy Flick wins. Now, Jim becomes desperate and throws two votes into the bin. Earlier in the movie, they showed a scene where he will be throwing some leftover food out of the bin. I cant really remmeber.
Because of this action, the school will find out what he did and he loses his job. In the end of the movie, he is a tourist guide and in his voiceover he convinces himself he is happy. And then he meets, Tracy flick who becomes a lawyer. He throws a drink at her car and runs away.
WHAT DID I LEARN?
I wrote a summary of the story, so if i have to refer back i can really understand what i mean. My apologies. This movie has alot of cause and effects. Let us see how it all started.
FIRST CAUSE-
Tracy Flick has affair with one teacher. Teacher loses job
EFFECT 1- Causes fear in Jim when he realises Tracy becomes president, they might have to spend alot of time together
EFFECT 2- Makes Paul run for president.
EFFECT 3- Since Pauls girlfriend was his lesbian sister’s ex girlfriend, Tammy runs for election too
EFFECT 4- Causes frustration in Tracy Flick who gets so mad that she tears down all the posters.
EFFECT 5- Tammy sees that and brings the torn posters and admits she did it and as a result she moves to another school where she lives happily ever after with her new lesbian girlfriend.
EFFECT 6- Jim gets frightened that Tracy may win. When he realises, Tracy DID win, he throws two votes into the bin
EFFECT 7- The garbage man find the two votes and shows to the school’s management
EFFECT 8-Jim loses his job and becomes a tourist guide.
THE 2ND CAUSE IN THE MOVIE
CAUSE 2-Jim has poor sex life with his wife who wants to finish her nursing school.
EFFECT 1- Wants to have affair with wife best friend
EFFECT 2- Has an affair with her
EFFECT 3- Wife finds out and breaks up marraige
RESOLUTION- Jim who had a happy family and a great job, loses everything. This is the idea of tragedy
WHAT I LEARN FROM THIS
Tragedy doesnt have to be like indian movies, where the hero has a dying mother, a drunkard father, a sister who always gets raped by the villain, or girlfriend who cries every five minutes.
Idea of tragedy can be simple as this as long as there is a reversal of fortune because of one mistake he makes. And there should be a cause and effect chain that causes this reversal of fortune.
And i think i just went through ANAGNORISIS- Change from ignorance to knowledge
I still want to make a beggar have tragedy. Now that i know what is tragedy. Imagine a beggar, who lives from hand to mouth. And he sings for a living for his family.Even though life is hard, he has the support of his family. One day, a shoot out happens in front of him. And one of the gang members call him into the gang. He makes a decsion, intending his life may become better and his family will finally be free from poverty. He takes that path. And he loses his family in the process. He loses one leg. And he gets shot himself one day and lies dying. People walk past but no one wants to help the beggar. The beggar dies. Is that finally a tragedy?
Reversal of fortune is small. But he did lose a very supportive family. The very people he took the gun for, all died. It defeats his purpose. So i guess it is reversal of fortune. There is a cause effect chain. He takes gun, effect family broken, in turn causes effect of losing leg and leads to resolution his death where no one helps him. I hope this is something!
RAPE, WOMAN AND MAN
May 15, 2007
Mr.Ryan just gave me a new topic to be obsessed about. Feminism. Well, i found myself browsing through websites the next moment. Femisim sounds so scary. Like a bunch of mad women talking about women. Thats what i initially felt. Anyways, there was an article about men being raped. And how, their pleas for help need to be heard
Rape is a great topic and i always wondered about it. In the 80’s, many indian movies show the villain pulling the saree off a woman and raping her. And i always wondered if all men do that? Well, the answer is NO. I read once that rape is not about sex. It is about control and power. And rape does not happen as poetically as in indian movies. Where the villain, tastefully swirls the women off her saree, and throw each piece off her clothing out of the window. Only one movie, showed rape as it is. I think it was a tamil movie. He just lifted the skirt and raped her. I am sorry about being technical about it, but i think people should know.
Rape is more of psychological. And its usually done by men who are affected by women throughout their lifes. Like there was a story of a man, who only raped blondes. I dont quite remmeber. Or was it a serial killer? Not everyone can rape. And there is nothing sexual about it at all. It takes a disturbed mind to do that. And rape happens in countries like Iraq, i like to point out this country mainly because of the tyrant Saddam Hussein. Men used rape to dominate and control women. Maybe because i guess women cant rape men back?
Another thing i would like to bring up, something my Contemporary Issues teacher was talking about. Her name is Diana by the way. She was asking the class should a victim of rape abort the baby. And i, immeditaly without thinking bursted out yes! And later after much thought said NO. Well, a man rapes you. You are a victim. But by killing a baby who had nothing to do with it, is a crime. It is like there is no differenrce between you and the rapist!
If i were to be raped(May God protect me), i think i would keep the baby. Well, i have a policy. Poeple can hurt you, but you dont do that back. Diana was saying that you can get the child adopted after giving birth. But, i dont think i can do that. Why must i give my baby away and label it as an orphan? What gurantee do i have that its foster parents would take care of it just as me? And wont i think about the baby in my life? Not everyone can think like me, and i dont expect that.
A baby is a blessing. And dont make it a victim just because you became one. Sometimes, some rape victims are too young! But i still suggest that they give birth to it, if there is no danger. And if the victim is too young, then you can consider adoption. Or if there is danger to the life, then abortion is the best choice.
Once a friend told me. Her name is Arwa and she is a Palestinian. I like viewpoint from people there, as they are sometimes victims of violence from men. She is more like a sister to me. She told me that sometimes women like the idea of being victimised. Like she is to be pitied. And it is pretty sad, because i find my poor German friend being the victim of many indonesian young ladies who swear to him they were raped when they had willful sex.This is how they churned money from him. It is scary, is it a new way for women to seek attenion?
Another topic is Molest. Every woman or man comes across this atleast a few times in their life. And yes me too! I am not ashamed about it anymore. There is nothing to be ashamed about it! One most biggest problem when molest occurs is that, people tend to freeze. There was an article in Straits Times where a male froze when he was being molested by another male, and he was hoping in his mind that the other guy stops!
When i was 15, i was in Kerala. And with a cousin brother in the library of my Uncle’s house. I was molested by him. At that age, i was a little naive and i did trust my brother alot. And when it was happening, i couldnt tell if he was touching me in a sisterly manner or something else. Only after a while, i realised that i was molested. And later i learnt, my other cousin was molested at the age of ten. And i got so MAD, i confronted him. Slapped his face and tore his shirt. it felt good!
Molest did not stop there. Sometimes you wonder if a certain action can be considered molest. Or when a girl freeze, the guy takes it as a cue that she is ok about it. Recently, when i went out with a guy friend it happened again. I just sat there and hoped he would stop, I was telling myself, “he would stop in 2 seconds, yes he will”. And the horrified expression was distinct on my face. Later on, i went home crying to my other guy friend Anis. He told me that i should react quickly. But it is hard. Beacuse you are not sure what is he touching you as? And what hurt me most, i was talking about my feelings to Arwa’s cousin Jaber, another palestinian, who was very cruel towards my feelings. And till today, i cant help it but hold a tiny itsby bitsy grudge. I cant blame him, he is a little young but i really considered him as my blood and was sharing my trauma. But he made it sound like it was my fault and why i froze. And i kept asking myself that question too. I wasnt enjoying it. I was just so lost. It is a very hard situation. You can only understand when you are in it yourself. Alot of molest victims face this!And my girl friend told me, when a guy touches you with wrong intention, the sensor in a woman detects it. Yes, i know the difference between my normal classmates touching me and a pervert touching me.
Molest is far more common than rape. And dont blame yourself when you freeze, it ISNT your fault and you WERENT enjoying it!It is only recently after much research i learnt that molest victims actually freeze when it happens. Honestly, i dont know why. And till today, i have not mastered how to get out of “Frozen” mode. But if you ever get a chance to meet that person again, slap him or her real hard!
Conversation with a divorcee and my opinion on LOVE
May 11, 2007
Well, some people learn from books others learn by watching or observing. I think i learn by interacting. Most of my knowledge, is usually gained by talking with the most different people in the world
I have a friend. He is about 35 years old. Excellent character. One day, i bump onto him at Mustafa centre. I know he got married recently and his wife applied for divorce right after one month and simply told him she was never interested. This is an arranged marraige by the way. And he asked why she didnt inform him earlier, and she refused to tell him anything. Since, the marriage is not consummated, according to Shariah law (islamic law) divorce is almost immediate.
I felt pity for him. Marriage is such a big event in anyone’s life. And now my friend is stereotyped as a divorcee. We sat for tea, and my aim was to make this man loosen all his feelings. So, to make him more comfortable. I started to talk about my biggest disaster with a person, the only man i consider i had a serious relationship with. And how tragically it ended, making me totally shy away from male species. I dont wish to name my friend. Anyway my friend immeditaly became relaxed when he heard my story.
I kept saying my losses. The pain, THE CRAP I WENT THROUGH. And then my friend began saying how crippled he felt with relationships. I cannot blame him. I told him it needs time. Sometimes, unfortunate things happen. But everything happens for a reason. This episode in his life must mean something!
I continued telling him. WHAT THE HELL IS LOVE TO YOUNGSTERS OF TODAY? (Sorry for such words, my emotions are being displayed in the form of words here.) Well, today two young people meet, they eat (in their parents money), they watch movie together (in their parents money) they go shopping (in their parents money). And then, they break up after a week or so.
And i asked him, “Do you want to know where is Romeo and Juliet?”. He looked at me blankly. I told him. “Your parents! There are the real Romeo and Juliet!”. The fact that they stick together after so many years of problems and not abandoning the ship, that is LOVE.
Anyone can “love” if you are financially dependant on someone else. Love is not about saying “O YOU ARE LIKE THE MOON, THE STAR AND THE SUN!”. It is about sticking together in times of despair.
In a marriage, you got to work, pay bills, run the household. Then you see the pain. And to some couples, LOVE IS NOT BEAUTIFUL ANYMORE!. No, that is when it gets more beautiful. You dont expect your wife to tell you at the age of 40, “Honey, chocolate, milkybar come and have your dinner!”. IN YOUR DREAMS! In actual reality, that doesnt happen. Most probably you will get a “Yo! Dont be an idiot and come and eat lah!”. Thats what you will get
Does that mean your wife doesnt love you? No. Love is not about sweet words like i mentioned. It is about sticking to each other and fighting external problems together. No matter how big they are. Life is full of problems. And so is love. There is no such love as sweet nothings.
Even internal conflict is healthy. Most divorces occur, when couples avoid fights because they fear it will eventually lead to divorce. It is better to vomit feelings at each other than keeping to yourself. Tell what you feel directly. Who is your husband and wife after all? Your better half? And if he or she is a part of you, there is no hiding. That is how beautiful a relationship is between a husband and a wife.
The real romeo and juliets are our parents. Certainly, not glamourous like Shakephere portrays romeo and juliet. But definitely, much deeper.
If you want to test your love, just get yourself married! Then you would know! I told my friend to cleanse himself from his dreadful past and look at the bright future ahead. He will get a good wife in God’s grace. A much better one.
It is such a pity women throw away the good men in this world. Requirements in a man or a woman, is not in looks or a sexy body (This goes 4 joshua, jacky and Brian). It is about good character. Not even finances. A man can be poorly educated, as long as he knows he needs to feed his family, he will work hard. Nowadays, what people look for are credit cards, cars and condominiums.
And now my friend is stereotyped as a divorcee and in indian society it is difficult for him to remarry. There was a thought on my head as i looked into his eyes. It was almost tearing by the way. Whether he was a divorcee or not, any smart women would marry a man like him, who has good morals. Even i would? Divorcees are not jinx or cursed people. They are only victims of a failed relationship. I wish society will accept them!
